第260页
《简·爱(英文版)》章节:第260页,宠文网网友提供全文无弹窗免费在线阅读。!
in me so keen an interest, I had half-forgotten my own wretched
position: now it recurred to me. More desolate, more desperate than
ever, it seemed from contrast. And how impossible did it appear to
touch the inmates of this house with concern on my behalf; to make
them believe in the truth of my wants and woes- to induce them to
vouchsafe a rest for my wanderings! As I groped out the door, and
knocked at it hesitatingly, I felt that last idea to be a mere
chimera. Hannah opened.
'What do you want?' she inquired, in a voice of surprise, as she
surveyed me by the light of the candle she held.
'May I speak to your mistresses?' I said.
'You had better tell me what you have to say to them. Where do
you come from?'
'I am a stranger.'
'What is your business here at this hour?'
'I want a night's shelter in an out-house or anywhere, and a morsel
of bread to eat.'
Distrust, the very feeling I dreaded, appeared in Hannah's face.
'I'll give you a piece of bread,' she said, after a pause; 'but we
can't take in a vagrant to lodge. It isn't likely.'
'Do let me speak to your mistresses.'
'No, not I. What can they do for you? You should not be roving
about now; it looks very ill.'
'But where shall I go if you drive me away? What shall I do?'
'Oh, I'll warrant you know where to go and what to do. Mind you
don't do wrong, that's all. Here is a penny; now go-'
'A penny cannot feed me, and I have no strength to go farther.
Don't shut the door:- oh, don't, for God's sake!'
'I must; the rain is driving in-'
'Tell the young ladies. Let me see them-'
'Indeed, I will not. You are not what you ought to be, or you
wouldn't make such a noise. Move off.'
'But I must die if I am turned away.'
'Not you. I'm fear'd you have some ill plans agate, that bring
you about folk's houses at this time o' night. If you've any
followers- housebreakers or such like- anywhere near, you may tell
them we are not by ourselves in the house; we have a gentleman, and
dogs, and guns.' Here the honest but inflexible servant clapped the
door to and bolted it within.
This was the climax. A pang of exquisite suffering- a throe of true
despair- rent and heaved my heart. Worn out, indeed, I was; not
another step could I stir. I sank on the wet doorstep: I groaned- I
wrung my hands- I wept in utter anguish. Oh, this spectre of death!
Oh, this last hour, approaching in such horror! Alas, this
isolation- this banishment from my kind! Not only the anchor of
hope, but the footing of fortitude was gone- at least for a moment;
but the last I soon endeavoured to regain.
'I can but die,' I said, 'and I believe in God. Let me try to
wait His will in silence.'
These words I not only thought, but uttered; and thrusting back all
my misery into my heart, I made an effort to compel it to remain
there- dumb and still.
'All men must die,' said a voice quite close at hand; 'but all